I chose to teach my baby to fall asleep alone without Cry It Out. It went so well, I wanted to share my method so other mothers and babies can profit. I am never saying here that Cry It Out methods are clearly wrong for the baby or do not work; I just don’t agree with this methods principals. As a mother, I did not want to leave my baby to cry it out; it does not seem right to me. And I recommend you not to as well, here is why.

Bedtime association

Bedtime may be an excellent opportunity to connect with your baby. The whole set of rituals: bathing, evening feeding, changing, putting to bed… it is all about mother-baby time. If you set up cozy nighttime rituals, your little one feels comfortable and trusts you.

If you offer stressful experience, without support (like letting to cry it out), you may give your child negative associations with bedtime. A negative approach may last a very long time; some even say it is possible to cause lifelong problems. You cannot avoid stress during sleep training, but you can minimize it.

Process to accept

Sleep training, for me, should be the part of a process. You establish the routine, and when this phase is done, you start the main training. Baby has time to process changes and finally – to accept them. Physical contact and parent’s support is so vital for the baby while accepting changes. With Hold With Love method, you keep the contact with your child, and there is no part when you leave the baby alone to self-sooth in tears. You always react to tears and just start over.

And it’s not like you have to make a choice between time and tears – no-CIO sleep training doesn’t need to last longer than any CIO method. One way or another, you need to prepare yourself for few nights of work and consistency. But it is totally worth it!

More information about the Hold With Love method you can find in "How to teach a baby to fall asleep alone" guide.

Susan Urban